Stages of a Mistake

We all make them - errors of judgement, mistakes - inconsequential, small, big or catastrophic. An old adage credits the wiser among us with the genius of learning from others'. Most of the rest of us, stub our own toes in the dark to discover immovable objects. A select few inverse geniuses commit them and fail or refuse to see any lessons hidden therein.
If such mistakes are committed in our dealings with others, they basically amount to trying the noble approach of 'turn the other cheek' in a boxing ring. Even a newbie pugilist can recognize an opportunity presented thus on a platter.

Recently, I added a rather big one, to my running total of significant mistakes, the total numbers of which compete robustly with the national debt clock. Without embarassing myself further by divulging specific details, I would like to share some observations of the various stages I underwent.

Blissful Ignorance: The mistake, henceforth referred to as the act had been committed, yet I remained unaware of it and its implications.

Outward Denial + Inward foreboding: "I couldn't possibly have done THAT!!!" (... or could I?)

Hollow Bravado: "So what if I DID do it!! It's immaterial and bears a minuscule fraction of extremely tiny consequence. It's ludicrous to the point of hilarity. Ha Ha!! I shall recover from it effortlessly and laugh about it someday."

Realization: "I actually went ahead and did it!!" As the realization dawns, it brings with it a sinking feeling that those to whom I laid my flanks bare would have to have been even more benign incarnates of Mother Teresa to not have taken advantage of the situation presented to them.

Self-flagellation: "How could I be such a flea-brained, bumbling nincompoop's apprentice to have managed to land myself in such a finely detailed mess. I mean really! I didn't leave even the minutest details of stupidity to chance on this one, and managed all this, single-handedly. Bravo!!"
Followed by a slew of unprintable mutterings let loose in a rich barrage.

Self-pity+ Auto-Sainthood: "Now how was I to know that the world was so cynical and people so cold and calculating. Who would have thought that people did such things to each other? It's truly beneath me to even consider the prospect of people stooping to such low levels, let alone stoop to their level and fight."

A few depressing iterations between the previous two states.

Struggle: Just to salvage my tattered reputation in my own eyes, I know that I need to give it my best to try and fight my way out of a seemingly doomed situation. Lord Krishna need not lecture me from the Gita. I am well and truly aware of this timeless quote that is very apt to the situation: "To act (perform our karma) is within our rights. Reward from the action is not our concern."
I fumed and fulminated using all available media of communication, over the course of a day trying to recover lost ground. And then, as if by coincidence, I came across this random quote on a website: "Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause."
It helped me transition to the next and final stage :-)

Resignation: "Ah! Fuggedaboudit!!" For future ruminations we shall file it away under the Hard-Luck section, and hope that when the next time such a situation arises, the appropriate lesson surfaces before the moment spurs us into yet another shoot-thy-own-foot.

Lavender scented dreams

Lights grow dimmer and day fades out
umbral night envelopes me pervading the senses.
She fills darkness in pupils wide open,
I hear rolling music of her serene silence
and lay still as her breezes brush over me,
nudging the conscious to lower its guard.

Slowly surrendering to her advances,
I catch a wisp of lavender fragrance,
just a hint- maybe even imagined,
it intoxicates the senses as sweet wine.

The mind lights up with a film of images,
and plays melodies of forgotten songs.
Now real enough that I almost touch her,
and feel her sensual smile,
she leads me to dreams,
and a promise of chimerical days.

Paradise visits our town

After an impatient wait spanning almost a month, we finally went out in our quest for the show that in the views of most observers has been described as the most colorful and mesmerising. And it's in town only for a few short weeks.

The day was perfect to venture out - warm temps and a gentle breeze. But uncertainty remained about the precise location. This show could be going on anywhere around town - moving into places tentatively but moving out quite resolutely for the season.
This apparent shortcoming though is largely offset by the fact that there is not limit on the number of audience attending it - no tickets required either. Its absolutely free - you only pay with your time and interest in it.

So, off we went in the direction where chances of catching it were most promising and lucked out.
Our favorite show was on - in all its majestic splendor. The artistes - matured and seasoned over years of spontaneous performances - never rehearsed into mundane and predictable sequences. The entire ensemble glittered and shone with the brilliance of individual acts.

We enjoyed every moment of the ongoing tireless spectacle and then noticed the souvenirs - a veritable bounty of them practically littered the venue. In yet another gesture of their never ending generosity, the artists provided the souvenirs for free. We grabbed handfuls of them and also tried to capture some of the most vivid imagery in pictures, but with the humble realization that no image can ever do justice to the live show we witnessed.

Our eyes frequently met those of fellow admirers. Knowing glances and smiles were exchanged. Without a word spoken, one gets the feeling of a strong bond shared by our mutual love of the show in all its forms.

The show leaves town soon, but the artists - all locals will stay behind, even though there is a foreboding of gloomy and cold times to come. They know their creativity and imagery will suffer a chilling effect, but being diehard optimists, they stay on, for a revival to spring forth - which it will, in due time. But probably the biggest reason they dont leave, stems from the deep roots they have in this community, from which they draw their creative juices.

We hope that our Maples, Birches, Oaks et al put on such beautiful shows every Autumn.

p.s. Please pardon the puns when you go back and read the last paragraph :-)